bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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