I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
