Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
