Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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