She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
