Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize