Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.

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(509): View more from Washington

so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week

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(937): View more from Ohio

Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

His hands were made for my vagina.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.

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(812): View more from Indiana

This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock

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(810): View more from Michigan

I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.

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(785): View more from Kansas

When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.

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