I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
