# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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