i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
