You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
