Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
