I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
