I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
