im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
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She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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