You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
