The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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