I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
