fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
