Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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