tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
