I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
