nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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