I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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