Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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