Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm getting married
To pizza
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize