omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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