Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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