Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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