A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
