Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
