You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
