Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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