I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
