Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
