I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
