So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
