I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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