No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize