No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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