So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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