It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
