Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
