Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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