Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i believe in u and ur pee
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