bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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