Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
