im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can't turn off my feet"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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