he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
