Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
