i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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