I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
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Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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