why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
