all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
