Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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