Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
