She's JV to your varsity
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
