yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize