how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
wow bdsm is so cute
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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