i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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