I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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