Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
