Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dick very happy bro
Drunk is a universal language darling
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
