Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
