Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
