I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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