if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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