whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
honey bunches of taint.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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