On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
