Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
